The Mean Girl Extinction Project Dear Josh is a page on the blog where Josh; Jordan and I (Shaylene) answer teen’s questions about bullying from the perspective of a teen/parent. Below is our Dear Josh. I wanted to share it with you.
You can also find it on our bully blog (Still in process of completion) at The Mean Girl Extinction Project. Have a question you want answered? Shoot us a message over there on our blog, or here at Shayleneking.com. I am so proud of Jordan and excited to work on something together with her!
I am not a bully, but some of my friend’s are. How do I stand up for the girl they bully but not lose their friendship? P.S. I am in sixth grade.
Afraid to lose friends
Hi, Afraid to lose friends,
I know how hard it is to want to fit in. When I was in 5th grade I was hanging out with a group of friends that were not good for me. There was physical bullying, name calling and it caused a lot of hurt feelings. I made the choice to stand up to my friends and also another friend who was being bullied. It was not easy but it was the right thing to do.
It is hard to try to stand up for somebody especially if you don’t know that person but it matters to them. They could be going through a hard time, your actions will speak louder than words to them. What you say and how you act could be what keeps them from hurting themselves.
Hope the information helps you,
Dear Afraid to lose friends,
Thank you for your question. There is an easy solution to your question but it won’t necessarily be an easy one to do.
Have you heard the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together?” or “You are what you eat?” Basically, what is means is, you are who you hang around. You may not be a bully but if you are hanging out with people who do bully, you are no better than they are. I know that must sound harsh, but bullying someone is cruel and unkind. Bullying leaves emotional scars and unfortunately, some girls never recover.
The fact you are aware of it and want to stand up for the girl being bullied says a lot about you! My advice, before you are put in that high pressure situation again, I would encourage you to talk to your friends and tell them, “It really bothered me when you guys bullied so and so by… (give specific details) I don’t think we should do that anymore”
Hopefully they didn’t realized they were even being bullies and that will be the end of it. If it happens again, you need find new friends. Friends who bully are not the kind of friends you really want. Walking away may be really hard to do but taking a stand for what you believe in will feel really good!